Blog website

I just wanted to tell everyone to just be looking at my blogsite with AIM so I don't need to keep updating both blogsites. The site is http://jessicaleonardi.myadventures.org. Thank you!! : )

Missionaries...Or should I say hippies?

If anyone has not read this hilarious yet accurate depiction of missionary life down here in Mexico, it's about time you did!

Missionaries. Or should I say hippies?



Posted in General Posts by Lila Dillon on 10/25/2009


Yesterday was our day off, so we went into Brownsville to go to the zoo and other such fun things. For dinner they dropped us of in this shopping center with all sorts of places to eat. Some of us went to Chick Fil A, and after a delicious meal of chicken fingers, milk shakes, and cheesecake we were talking to one of the employees. Her name was Hannah and we were just telling her about what we were doing and where we were going, etc. She then proceeded to tell us that when we pulled up she "thought we were hippies and was scared". Ha. But when I really thought about it, we kind of do look like hippies. We drive around squished into big vans, none of us are ever actually clean, we wear a lot of tie dye and bandannas, we all love each other a lot, we smile all the time, and some of us are weird enough that strangers might legitimately think we're on drugs. But really.. we just love Jesus. So, in honor of Hannah, I've comprised a list of some of the ridiculous things we do because we're missionaries.


One night we were about to have evening session and some girls were sitting on the ground fixing coffee for each other, completely and utterly undisturbed by the huge dead cockroach laying belly up right in the middle of them.
Showering is absolutely optional. The end.
Dreads, purple hair, nose rings, and tats have become the norm.
Wearing the exact same outfit for multiple days in a row is totally okay. This might actually have more to with the fact that we try to avoid doing laundry at all costs though.
Musical instruments are always present. Guitars, Jessica's flute, tambourines that no one really knows how to play, harmonicas, drums/objects that sound remotely like drums, etc.
John Parrish has only brushed his teeth three times since we've been here. That really has nothing to do with being a missionary, the rest of us uphold our dental hygiene, it's just super gross.
Sharing is caring. We all wear each other's clothes, eat each other's food, use each other's stuff.
Facial hair is revered, sadly. All the menboys (I don't really know what to call them anymore) stopped shaving a long time ago.
The three most talked about things are 1) God 2) Food 3) Poop.
We're supposed to exercise every morning, but instead we play elementary school PE games. Red Rover, dodgeball, kickball, tag.
Due to the massive infestation of bed bugs our legs will never be the same again. They are forever scarred.
Having at least twelve bracelets on your wrists and ankles is common.
We use toilet plungers to wash our clothes.
We consume an average of at least four gnats with your dinner and are completely okay with it.
For a few days I was really frustrated because I couldn't get my feet clean no matter how hard I scrubbed them in the shower. Then I realized that they weren't actually dirty- I just had an awful Chaco tan line.
Additionally, we all have probably irreversible farmer's tans.


So, in short, I'm having an INCREDIBLE time. I'm so thankful that God brought me here instead of to college. There's no possible way I could do justice to the work He's doing here, or in my heart, so just know that He's being so good to me.

"Rhea Island"

Here is a post by one of my friends about our adventures during our outreach week to the "Island of Love," which we affectionately renamed "Rhea Island." ; )


'Rrhea Island


Posted in General Posts by Caitlyn Evangelista on 11/21/2009


This past week was outreach week for us Novas kids! All 5 teams went to different towns in Mexico and did ministry and were there from Saturday through Friday...except for 2. My South Africa team and the Swaziland team went to the Island of Love which is an hour or so from the Gateway. All 10 of us and Eleazar (our friend and translator) were staying in this little room that was a house, with 5 beds. We did a lot of different things to help out the people from this island town, like play with kids, preach in the mission churches, preach in the church that we were coming to do ministry for, renovate a church, construct a building for the children to have Sunday school (instead of meeting at a bench under a tree), and got 11 cases of E.Coli.


The family that was hosting us taught me a lot about the Kingdom of God, perhaps more than I learned while I was training at the Gateway. The pastor and his wife, Pastor Leonel and Sister Ester, did not charge us a dime to come and stay with them. They didn't ask that we bring enough food to feed us for the whole week. Nothing. She asked if we could bring a sack of rice, beans, flour, and sugar, which we did. When we got to the island, she didn't use that food to feed her family or our teams, she gave it all away to the community she lived in. With one sack of each of those items she was able to bless 3 churches. How is that different than here in America? In America, nothing is free. Almost everyone lives to help out just themselves and their families. But what I learned on this island is that that it is certainly not like that all over the world, and it certainly should not be like that in the first place. Jesus calls us to serve...and we translate to serving only while on a missions trip or at a church activity, not in real life.





Parents, have you ever noticed that when you come home from the grocery store with your car full of shopping bags that your kids miraculously have to use the bathroom, or are complaining their butts off about how they had to, "stop doing their homework," or "missed the best part of the TV show?" I am positive that we are all guilty of this, I know for a fact I have done that countless times, but spending the short amount of time that I did on this island helped me realize how selfish I have become. The day we came onto the island and were taking our daypacks and pillows off the boat, dozens of townspeople came to help us bring our stuff back to where we were staying. Most of those people came running, literally. And, no, they weren't doing this so they could steal our stuff. They did this because they genuinely love to serve. Have I been keeping that attitude? No. Have you been keeping that attitude? You'll have to answer that for yourself. Something I learned in Mexico was that it is a privilege to be able to serve God. A privilege!



Serve wholeheartedly, as if you were serving the Lord, not men, because you know that the Lord will reward everyone for whatever good he does, whether he is slave or free. -Ephesians 6:7-8

Think back to when you were a child and you saw your Mother in the kitchen baking cookies and you wanted so badly to help her make them! Why did you want to help her? Because you love her! And your Mother more than likely said, "Yes, I would love your help, sweetie!" Even though our parents accepted our offers to help them, it would have been loads easier for them to decline the offer because we made things more messy and difficult. But she said yes because she loves you. This is just like our relationship with God, our Father. We want to help him, by sharing the Good News and bringing Him glory, because we love Him. But it would be way easier if God declined our offer because we mess up everything since we are so sinful. God accepts our offer to help Him and His kingdom because he loves us!

Endure hardship as a discipline;God is treating you as sons. For what son is not disciplined by his father? If you are not disciplined, then you are illegitimate children and not true sons. -Hebrews 12:7-8



This eagerness to serve was really a paradigm shift for me. Everyone loved to serve! The children loved to swing us in the hammocks, the women loved to cook our food, the townspeople at the missions church brought us food, the fishermen gave us beautiful seashells. They have such beautiful hearts, just like the heart of Jesus.






Now, let me explain the title of the blog...and part of the first paragraph. While we were at the island, every single person got E. Coli, except the people who live there. Me and another girl got it first, the first day we got there, and stopped eating. Therefore, our case was not as bad as the 9 other people's. But, we got it anyway. On Wednesday night, everybody's E. Coli worsened, and we went through more than 4 rolls of toilet paper in a period of about 8 hours. Some people were vomiting, some people had fevers, but everyone had diarrhea. Many people pooped their pants, had to leave their underwear in the out house hole, had to take care of the business in non out houses because there was no way they could hold it, were forced to use soiled toilet paper, and fell out of outhouses, toilet paper in hand and pants around the ankles. We came to the agreement, at 6:30 on Thursday morning, that we needed to get out promptly and go to the hospital. We were off that island by 8:00 and back in America at the hospital at 10:00 am. Every single person got a shot in the butt and a bunch of prescriptions, myself included. Unfortunately I had to spend a whole month's worth of budgeted spending money, $150, on this medicine. Thankfully everyone is feeling healthy since we got the antibiotics and shots! So the chances are slim that we will be hogging up the airplane bathrooms on our way to Africa.





Oh yeah, Africa! I am leaving for Africa in 2 days from today. Isn't that crazy! I can't really fathom it. I feel like it has been a mere dream that I've had for the past 15 months, and now it's happening? I feel so blessed that God is sending me to a place like South Africa. This is probably going to sound silly, but it still amazes me that God called me to Africa, because it is not something that I would have chosen for myself. It was all part of His amazing, perfect, and intricate plans for my life! It just blows my mind and makes me so excited for the rest of my life!



In my previous blog, I mentioned how I needed $1200 more to have this trip payed off. Over the past week, God has provided so greatly! This morning I am only in need of $550! And something that I have been reflecting on is this: We believe that God created the universe, and that He is bringing us eternal life in Heaven...but it is so hard to believe that God can perform miracles. Miracles like healing and prophesy and spiritual languages. But, why is that? I certainly don't know, but I am trying not to be that person. I don't want to put God in a box.




I tell you, whatever you ask for in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours. -Mark 11:24



I believed, and still do believe, that God will provide the money for me to go to South Africa because He called me to it, and because He is faithful. Since I developed the, "With God all things are possible," mindset, the Lord has provided. And I am not saying that I didn't believe that prior to this, but I honestly had a few worries that I wouldn't raise all the money that I needed. Right as soon as I surrendered those worries to God, he has taken them away and put $700 in my support account in about a week's time! And I still do want to encourage you to support me, and to serve me. $550 is a small financial hump, and I am excited for God to flatten that out for me! If you feel motivated, willing, able, or called to financially support me, you can click on the "Support Me!" tab on the side of this page. There you can decide how much you would like to support.





I feel like I have already thanked all of you for this already, but I want to thank you again! Thank you so much for walking through this journey with me through Mexico, and soon to be, Mexico! Thank you so much for your prayers, your love, your encouraging words, and your financial support. This little paragraph does not give what I am trying to say justice at all, but maybe you will understand how intensely I mean this if you multiply it 1000 x's!!!


Boat=our sole mode of transportation on the island. It was actually really cold, which is not what you would expect at an island in Mexico! Here we are on our way to construct the Sunday school building at one of the mission churches.



Team South Africa, Team Swaziland, Eleazar, Pastor Leonel, Sister Ester, Emanuel, and some other members of the church celebrating Garrett's and Sister Ester's birthday. We celebrated their birthdays 3 and 4 days early because we went to a house this day that actually had an oven! There wasn't an oven here, so we had to be very resourceful. The cake was fantastic! Pastor Leonel and Sister Ester sang the famous and super long Mexican Happy Birthday song to Garrett and all of us, it was a lot of fun!

Relinquishing fear

The fear had once again resurfaced; not that it had ever actually disappeared. But this is simply a matter of surrender, and when the fear re-livens, to surrender. And at times, I won’t even recognize my struggles being rooted in my fear.
Last Wednesday night we had a time of confession of sins and fears, and a cleansing from these by the washing of one another’s feet. In the beginning, I was reluctant to pray over or speak into people’s lives who were opening up because of what God has been teaching me about silence. And because of the importance of this teaching in my life and how it relates to this story, I will take a detour to tell about it.
So, as I talked about in my last blog entry, I had really been fighting for opportunities to just come away and be with Jesus. But gently He had been teaching me how to let Him quiet my heart even while I was surrounded by people in the flurry of activity throughout the day. He was showing me the solitude that could be had within the sanctuary of my heart that is the temple His spirit resides in. Tenderly, He was leading me to take advantage of even just the moments of silence or stillness, and in this way to abide in Him. In the mornings as I still laid in bed, He drew my heart into a state of listening meditation before Him to gain His perspective, transforming my attitude. And as I allowed His Words to wash over me, groggy changed to anticipation and hope, and grumpy reversed to gratitude and joy. After morning exercise, He would draw me aside to where He was painting the sunrise with vivid brushstrokes. After breakfast, we would sit on our shady bench together as He read me His thoughts, bringing clarity to my own. We sneaked away together after dinnertime to our most favorite bench enshrouded by a tree, perfect for reclining against, and overlooking a pond, its ripples dappled with the day’s last drops of sunlight. And I love it when Jesus grabs my hand to escape on an adventure together: climbing a tree, traipsing through a meadow, or stealing away into the stillness of night to lie beneath the silent blanket of stars. He has been reminding me of my unrestrained, unburdened love for Him while still at home, and alluring me back into the singing, laughing, and dancing to the music of life, bringing hope even to the valley of trouble (Hosea 2:14-15). In moments like these I find myself basking in a joy that comes simply from the beauty of being. As my mom tells me, each day is a gift, and I desire to live in eager expectation of God’s intent for every day I’m blessed to exist. And day by day, I’m beginning to hear more distinctly the unmistakable whisperings of His spirit to mine throughout the day. Most surprisingly to me, these whisperings occur even in the midst of my conversations with others, allowing me to replace the many words I otherwise would have spoken with the simplicity of wisdom His words afford.
But listening to His Spirit also gave me a certain sense of trepidation, as if I was tiptoeing through meaningful conversations, holding my tongue more often than not for fear of speaking my own words rather than His. In doing this, I forfeited the vulnerability of openly sharing my heart, which was in part subconsciously motivated by a fear that people would not care to know. So this brings me back full circle to my hesitance to speak or pray over people during foot washing, and still more, to share what fear lingered in my own heart.
So here’s the fear: that God is uprooting my heart from the fertile soil of home with all of its nurturing relationships with family and friends. I find that when Christ asks me to surrender everything for His sake, I withhold my father, mother, brother, sisters, and friends from Him. I cling so tightly to home, which is a refusal to acknowledge Him alone as my home. I hold fast to the people of home whom I so dearly love, which prevents Him from being my All in All. And as long as I decline to relinquish both home and the people of it to Christ, I remain in a state of idolatry.
But along with the damage done to my relationship with Christ by my idolatry, my relationships with the people away from home are also inhibited. I witness this self-fulfilling prophecy unravel of my belief that I could never be as close to anyone as I am to the people of home. I anticipate that people will not know or understand me as deeply, so my tendency is to still strive to know them, yet often with a limited reciprocation of vulnerability.
Sharing this fear to a couple of teammates was the first step to conquering it, but certainly many more steps ensue. These teammates prayed over me and washed my feet, yet the struggle is not over. And I feel like this is more spiritual than I realize. There is a ubiquitous battle being waged between angels and demons. And I believe that Satan often works discreetly, and that this seemingly subtle fear is causing me to withhold from my team, which affects our ministry. Although I am also aware that much of this is simply homesickness. But either way, I would deeply appreciate prayer for this, and am so grateful for those of you who have already prayed over this. Many thanks, and I love you all so much!

Hope

Hope. This word embodies what God has been teaching me throughout this last week. My Savior has been whispering this word over my heart again and again. And “the God of hope [has been filling me] with all joy and peace as [I] trust in Him, so that [I might] overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.” (Romans 15:13).

At present, I am listening to Chris Tomlin’s ardent worship wash over my soul and am searching every reference to hope I can find throughout Scripture (with the help of a friend’s concordance). Though many of these verses are filled with empowering encouragement, one in particular that speaks to me (though perhaps cliché) is Isaiah 40:31. “But those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.”

This verse speaks to me deeply due to my desperation for rest in this place. Physically, emotionally, and in particular spiritually I have been literally yearning for rejuvenation. This verse promises renewal of strength to those who hope in the LORD; that they will no longer grow weary, even in the midst of running. But part of this is discipline. In order to be physically refreshed, I must have the discipline to go to bed earlier and, instead of trying to be involved with everything that’s going on, to sometimes choose simply resting or “being.”

Emotional renewal comes at times like now, when I take a break from the frenzied activity around me to take aside the time to process the flurry of thoughts, emotions, and experiences. I must be sharing the experiences of life I have here both with the people physically around me as well as continuing to share life to some extent with people from home. I have felt so estranged from home, this being my first opportunity to connect with people from there. And even blogging now feels relatively empty since this is a monologue, a one-sided conversation, and I know nothing of what is going on with those I love from home. This is where some sacrifice comes in, because I would be on my email right now before blogging, except internet here is inconsistent at best. But because there are only certain times when I’m even able to try getting online, I am at the mercy of happenstance (really the serendipity of God’s mercy and wisdom) to whether it will even be at the right time for getting internet. And as my neglected emailing correspondents are aware, this has not yet happened.

But this struggle ought to be diminished by my openness with my community here, but my life-long battle with vulnerability rages on. This is an area where hope has been most essential for me. And I feel as though God has been unveiling my eyes in many ways regarding misconceptions I’ve supposed of how people might react to my raw honesty and uninhibited personality. These preconceptions have proved both true and false, good and bad, but most importantly God has been teaching me that regardless of human response, I must persevere in being utterly real. And if I admit when I’m a wreck inside, people may even be able to relate, and this vulnerability may bring us closer. This has certainly happened in some instances, though in others (though less frequently), I might feel further ostracized.

However, spiritual rejuvenation is by far the most integral of the three. I have never in my life struggled with such effort to meet with God daily, only to have the bell ring for the next activity before I feel as though I’ve intimately connected with God. I hardly know what to do about this because I certainly both desire and strive toward this daily intimacy, but maybe I’ve just been spoiled up until this point, and just can’t expect to always experience that rich personal interaction with Christ, and should be more than satisfied with the depth of corporate worship and learning that daily occur in this community.

I was talking to one of my leaders about this, and she compared my relationship with Christ to a potential relationship with a husband (an analogy which has always deeply resonated in me). I was yearning for time alone with Christ, although He’s always with me and I experience His fellowship in community with others here. Likewise, even if I was spending ample time with a human husband in groups of people, it could never replace or compare with the time spent alone with him. And the devastating truth of the matter was that even though Christ was always with me, I found myself missing Him deeply, soul aching for His intimacy. I heard Him unceasingly whispering “Come away with me” to my heart, but every time I did or tried to was either interrupted by the next activity, prevented, or not as fulfilling due to the many distractions inevitably surrounding me, whether they are mosquitoes and gnats or people talking.

But I have learned much of the beauty of simply being in God’s presence, regardless of how deeply I feel I connect with Him, or how much what I learn from His heart resonates within my own. I have experienced transcendent restoration through simply being with Christ. I feel as though the principle of companionable silence I’ve experienced so readily with family, I now know how to apply to my relationship with Christ, even while I’m amidst a group of people.

So rewinding back a week, our training here in Mexico began with three days of solitude. During this time we could neither talk nor interact with the people around us. The only beings I talked to during that time were God Himself and a few cows looking on as I talked or sang to Him. It was such a beautiful experience to have so many hours of uninterrupted quality time with my Husband. And I think that coming out of this time made it all the more difficult to adapt to the desperate hunger of finding an opportunity to spend time alone with Him.

Following this time of solitude, the Spirit has been moving in powerful ways, including moving our community to sing new songs that spring from our hearts during worship times, going on prayer marches during the middle of night on behalf of another teammate, and breaking the bondage of Satan’s lies in people’s lives. And it has been incredible digging deep into Scriptures to discover more of Jesus’ character, His teaching, and the lifestyles of the early church following Jesus’ teaching and life. God has been so good to me in putting me in this sort of learning environment at this time in my life.

Every afternoon our teams divide and go to our “adopted families” around the area. This last week our task was simply to observe and learn of our families’ lifestyles. My team’s family has four kids: Cynthia (12), Lisbeth (8), and twins, Adrian and Adriana (4). Their mom Mary is extremely hospitable and kind; and all her kids are very sweet and fun. One of my first precious moments with their family came when we were walking back to the base the second day after our visit. Adrian had been at a relative’s house living nearby, and when we walked past he ran over to me, jumped up and threw his arms around me! I am so in love with his twin, too - little Adrianna - and love holding her on my lap every time we go there. I was so overwhelmed with the sweetness of life when shy little Adrianna leaned in and gave me a kiss goodbye right on the lips when we were leaving several days ago, and now it has become a goodbye tradition!

So that’s just a bit of what’s been going on down here. For those who are checking my blog, I probably will be able to update it every Sunday. You can pray for my rejuvenation spiritually, emotionally, and physically (and that I’d have the discipline to go to bed early!) Please also pray that I will have time every day to come away with God. And finally, pray that I will have the boldness to be vulnerable with my teammates, so our relationships can go deeper. Thank you so much for your prayers already – they have made all the difference here! I miss you all at home so much and love you deeply!!

Depart: Atlanta, GA; Arrive: Spokane, WA

On the way home from Atlanta, Georgia, I ended up missing my first flight and having a 2-hr. delay, then a 4-hr. layover for my connecting flight; but it was all completely worth it, because God gave me the most amazing opportunities to talk to people about Him all day long: their views on Him and just their stories! It was so awe-inspiring seeing Him in everything. Seeing Him even in myself (which was a surprising glimpse!), because that's not normal for me to have that kind of boldness to talk about my love for Jesus with other people and, frankly, not being able to Help but share about Him because I just felt so head-over-heels in love with Him and HIS love was overflowing out of me!!! It was like the man of my dreams had just declared His love for me (which God DID!!), and anyone who came in my pathway had to hear about the love of my life. Isn't that ridiculous?!! Definitely different than anything I had ever experienced in myself before. And God in His sovereignty just arranged for all of these serendipitous opportunities to converse with person after person about Him, people who Wanted to dialogue about Jesus even, almost as if orchestrating my whole day according to HIS plan was nothing for Him (hhmmm...I wonder... ; D). Lord, give me eyes to look to you, ears to hear Your bidding, and a heart full of willing obedience!! Flying home into the sunset on my last flight was the most beautiful confirmation of God's providence. The whole flight home the man sitting by me (Mike) and I conversed about missions, both local and overseas, God's enormous, personal love for the stigmatized in society and teaching your kids about that love (he has two kids). Toward the end of the flight, I was just gazing out the window, basking in the day's last remnant of fushia light, when Mike suddenly leaned forward next to me, saying "Let's pray together before we land." And so a week of God's poignant manifestation of Himself to me at training camp drew to a close in the same manner that it began and had its being: through prayer. Praise God for His serendipitous ways!! I never thought I'd find myself praying with the stranger sitting next to me on a 1-hr. connecting flight! ; P Could God's detail-oriented hand Be any more evident, even using my missed flight for His purposes?! Though maybe all along He intended for me to miss it...Thank You, Father, for giving me Your perspective to see Your manifold goodness and still rejoice in You despite an unfavorable circumstance! I just ask of You that might be more often the case!! Let me see You at work and join in alonside that work to let You use me, even in the unique ways where I must simply trust You that it is working out for good, because You are good.

Baby Liam - my nephew!! :-)

I feared that I would be unable to see my precious nephew before I left on my Novas Project, but God provided the opportunity for me to come down to Missouri with my dad, mom, and sister Melissa to visit him and his daddy and mommy. I just LOVE simply snuggling with that little lovebug...It's the highlight of my day to get that bundle of perfection in my arms! And there's nothing quite as sweet as having him sleep against my chest or gazing into his big, beautiful eyes as I sing to him over a bottle of milk! : )

Our first evening with Liam in our hotel room...he is so precious and tiny that I couldn't help but cry the first time I held him.


I didn't realize how absolutely fascinating a newbory baby is...not to mention when that fact is compiled by him being my very own nephew!!










Auntie Ang would've given anything to be visiting Liam, Nick, and Karinda; but as her work would not allow, she sent what she could: all her love anddarling baby outfits, including the above. This pic's for you, Auntie Ang!! : )














This child could not have a more loving nor competent Grandma (or will it be Nona? ; ). We were lucky enough to have Liam entrusted to us for a sleepover in our hotel room the last night we were there, so Karinda could finally get a full night of sleep, and words cannot express how beautiful "Grandma" was taking care of Liam that night. It gave me a bit of a picture of how loving and nurturing she must have been as a mommy.















This is one loving Daddy, I tell you what! He gets home from 10-hour shifts of physical work plus his workout, then wants nothing more than to hold his baby boy! I was so proud of the way he takes care of his wife Karinda: he is so tender with her and takes such good care of her and Liam.

Talk about proud! I always knew Everyone who knows Melissa And the mommy herself!
what an amazing Grandpa my knows how gifted she is with Karinda is such a great
daddy would be, and how much children, but it is such a precious mom! I so esteem her
he was looking forward to the thing to watch her with her ability to so readily adapt
day, but nothing could have quite newborn nephew. I can hardly to motherhood despite
prepared for me for the lavish wait for her to have her own living hundreds of miles
love he pours out on Liam! So babies, since she's already so away from her own mom,
much so that, even when my competent. But even more than as well as mine. And my
mom was the one who would be being fully capable with Liam, goodness, does she love
feeding Liam milk in the middle she is so loving and nurturing! her baby boy!! I so hope
of the night during our sleepover, Her future children will be so to have them return to be
this devoted Grandpa would still blessed to have her as their close to family again, for
be at her side, watching over him. mother!! all of our sakes!

Great Expectations

We were asked to write a blog on our team blog page about how we felt before leaving on this mission trip. Here's what I'm expecting...

I cannot help but think of dear old Charles Dickens writing my list of "great expectations," however, I am attempting to temper my own expectations with the reality of my ways not being God's ways (Is. 55:8) and desiring to trust God's ways with all my heart and lean not on my own understanding (Prov. 3:5). I have lately discovered at a greater depth a challenging perspective on Rom. 8:28 "And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose." Yes, it is indeed Good that God works out, but I and the world may not perceive His good to be as such, particularly While persevering through those trials He brings maturity through if we will but choose joy (Is. 1:2-4).

* I'm expecting that these will likely be both the hardest and most rewarding eight months of my life as of yet.

* I'm expecting to experience the nearness of God's presence in such startling and awe-inspiring ways that I will be able to do nothing else but fall on my face before Him in worship.

* I'm expecting to watch God's transcendent power be manifested in people's lives.

* I'm expecting to battle between remembering or taking time to lift specific requests up to God and asking myself why it surprises me when He undeniably answers those prayers I do present to Him.

* I'm expecting to struggle with finding time to be still before God and KNOW Him and Who He is at times that it is most crucial, and hope to recognize this at the time as spiritual warfare.

* I'm expecting to see the living and active Word of God to actually come to life before my eyes in the ways He moves in lives, and hoping to be part of the "29th chapter" of Acts with my team. ; )

* I'm expecting to discover how rewarding, even addicting, it can be to share Christ's living Gospel with those who aren't familiar with it
* Though I'm also expecting to learn how I mustn't become discouraged when people are unreceptive or even adverse to this message of grace, because God even warns us that His Truth is the stench of death to those who are perishing and because it is not at all in my hands how people will react (so I can't boast - Eph. 2:8-9), but rather up to God's Spirit to move in their souls.

* I'm expecting to gain a richer understanding of what, or rather Who love is, through the diversity of the people I live alongside, and through the unconditional manner of love God exudes through them.

* I'm expecting to become very physically ill, to the point that I'll long for nothing more than to go back to my comfortable in the states and have my mama take care of me.

* I'm expecting God to teach me uncomfortable and painful lessons I desperately need to learn, and hoping that I will allow Him to work these to the marrow of my bones so that when people look my way, that may not see me anymore, but rather Him who lives within me.

* I'm expecting to be heartbroken as I never have before been when I see the conditions in which people live and the injustice and oppression they endure, and feel the anguish of helplessness.

* I'm expecting to come to a place like the prophet Habakkuk where it seems like the law is paralyzed and justice never prevails (Hab. 1:4) but have to believe the Lord's answer to him that "the earth will be filled with the knowledge of the glory of the LORD" (Hab. 2:14) - He will prevail!

* I'm expecting to need profoundly to return to God's Word and to believe what it says, even when I don't see it (Heb. 11:1).

* I'm expecting to be spiritually broken, perhaps not even feeling the presence of love or hearing from God, and be forced to remember the words enscribed in the wall of a concentration camp "I believe in the sun even when it's not shining, I believe in love even when I don't feel it, I believe in God even when He is silent."

* I'm expecting to be deeply homesick at times, and understand a bit of the passionate yearning I ought to have for going to our eternal home with our all-loving Father.

* I'm expecting to be so blessed by the Acts-like community of our team and am excited for the opportunity to encourage and serve my teammates.

* I'm expecting to fall entirely in love with the people I will live day-to-day with and be gripped with the bitter pain of leaving them at the end of our time together.
* I'm expecting to go absolutely insane living alongside the same group of people filled with the idiosyncrasies of humanity, but being pleasantly surprised to find that I can't help but love them all the same - just like family! ; )

* I'm expecting to be so disgustingly filthy at times (especially at the training camp!) that I will be utterly humbled when looking back at pictures and wonder how I ever possess a single fiber of conceit.

* I'm expecting to become "cultured" - to have my worldview stretched and developed as I experience peoples and cultures by living among them, rather than simply reading about them.
* I'm expecting to return home with a hugely transformed view on what my purpose of living is.

*I'm expecting to be ashamed of my materialistic mentality when I observe the resilient joy of those who have nothing externally, but, as a result, have so much more internally.
* I'm expectng to not take so much for granted in the states, neither materially nor relationally.

* I'm expecting to miss my family and friends from home so hugely, but have the richness of our relationships and my depth of gratitude for them increase as a result of it.

* I'm expecting to miss my dear friend and confidant - my family's piano...I expect to go through withdrawals from her and my ever-access to spill out my soul on her keys in worship to our King.

* I'm expecting to crave practicing my flute Priscilla as the conduit she is for catharsis.
* I'm expecting to wish I had taken the time to develop photography skills when I experience the unbelievable beauty of God's creation both in nature and people.

* I'm expecting to grow in maturity probably more than I ever have in an eight-month period.

* I'm expecting to quite possibly know and love God more deeply than I've yet known possible.

* I'm expecting to never be the same again.

Destination: Philippines

Some of you may have heard of the change of location and, henceforth, ministry for the six-month internship portion of my eight-month mission. So, here's the story: though the afore-listed countries on the former Novas homepage were tentative, I realize now just how attached my heart had become to the opportunity of rehabilitating sex trade victims in Burma/Myanmar or India. And I was hopefully anticipatory of the prospect not only of ministering to these victims, but the more specified direction the experience would give me for my furthered education, as this sort of rehabilitation is something I desire to do long-term. I felt so devastated upon my initial discovery that those two countries along with their ministries had been removed from our list of tentative ministry countries. Now it's looking like I will be doing youth ministry in the Philippines as a means of prevention against the problem of human trafficking in their country. This is still an incredible venue to serve, but just not at all what I was expecting and hoping for. BUT, God has already taught me significantly through this. One, of course, to expect the unexpected. Two, my ways are not God's ways (Is. 55:8) and I need to trust in Him with all my heart rather than leaning on my own understanding (Prov. 3:5). Three, what I and the world perceive to be good may not be God's good, and His good may not perceive to be as such by us. Through this "disappointment" and a couple of others occurring simultaneously God gave me fresh new perspective on Rom. 8:28 "And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose." I tend to have such a limited perception of what this "good" of His really is. It seems like I would know better by now, watching the manifold blessings that our family experienced BECAUSE of my mom's cancer (not to discount, especially on my mom's part, just how difficult the journey has been). But God helped us to learn and experience the reality of considering it pure joy when we faced this trial together as a family, along with our beloved church family. We truly did develop perseverace leading to maturity, realizing more profoundly how we indeed lacked no good thing with the presence of God in our hearts (Js. 1:2-4). Especially I saw this in my mom's life as I watched her spiritually mature in inspiring ways and so emulate the esteemed Proverbs 31 woman, despite the challenges and fatigue of her cancer and, no less, her treatment. I have no doubt that my mom will be receiving the crown of life that God rewards to those who love Him and who have persevered under trial and stood the test (Js. 1:12). All this to say, I am so persuaded that God has a plan through this change in destination...whether His intent is as simple as to build up my faith and trust in Him to follow no matter where He leads (because He is absolutely the one in control!) or even to give me greater clarity and direction for longer-term purposes. Wherever my dear Lord wills me to be, THAT is where I desire to be.

How I was called to this mission trip

Here is my story of how I was led up to this mission trip...

At fourteen years of age, God really put the country of Sri Lanka on my heart. Since then, He has expanded my love to cover many other countries, but most specifically the region of South Asia. This was always centered in a passion for the people of these countries and their spiritual condition (a.k.a. relationship with God), and I had more of a general sense of meeting their other physical and emotional needs. But God had a more specific vision for me: Just over a year ago, when I found out that there is more slavery today than ever before in history, I knew I had to act. The affects of human trafficking are devastating and widespread, but because of its illicit nature it remains largely overlooked. Learning about historical slavery throughout my schooling always broke my heart to a degree that I yearned to champion the cause of those oppressed alongside the great fighters for abolition like William Wilberforce. I hoped to be helping with the rehabilitation of sex trade victims in India or Burma, as this has been a great burden on my heart since I've learned about it. Now it's looking like I will be doing preventative work against human trafficking by involvement in youth ministry in the Philippines. Also, just generally I was looking for a longer short-term ( ; P) mission trip I could take a year off from college to be part of. I felt like I had been wearing the weight of the world's needs on my sleeve, and it was time I actually Did something about it! I had deeply hoped since the age of fourteen to give my life to foreign missions, and intended to start the process of integration into vocational missions after graduating from college with my bachelor's, but I wanted to have that direction clarified and confirmed before I resumed my education. I had finished the majority of my general classes and needed to define exactly what degree I was going toward. I'm hoping that this journey will give me a realistic perspective of how I need to be equipped to best meet the needs of the people hurt by human trafficking (yes, even the perpetrators) so I can pursue that preparation educationally. It would take a lot longer to write so I won't, but I just want to mention that God worked in so many serendipitous ways to call me to this particular mission trip and missions in general – He is so good to have the patience to keep whispering my name gently for me to come follow Him, even while I wait for some loud, undeniable confirmation of His will. And I am unspeakably excited to have the opportunity to serve alongside all of the beautiful God-seekers and believing activists on my Novas team: God will do things in our own lives and the lives of those surrounding us that we would not believe even if we had been told (Hab. 1:5). I am convinced that God will move more powerfully than we could ever anticipate!!

The Future Missionaries Retreat

Praise God for how He was present during this retreat! After a very tumultuous and unpredictable flight over to Colorado, complete with Joe Biden and vomit, we arrived hours late for one of the most encouraging experiences of my life. It was such a powerful, beautiful thing to be surrounded by hearts filled with a kindred love for God and passion for missions. One of my most memorable times at the retreat was when we twenty-eight “future missionaries” gathered together with past and current missionaries and the board for their meeting. We all shared how God had impassioned us, and I was astounded as I listened to the way God was aligning our personal visions for His glorious purposes. Out of only twenty-eight of us future missionaries, there were three who had a heart for the former Soviet countries (especially Russia); five who had a love for Ireland, even specifically a common passion for music/arts ministry, youth, and fighting drug abuse; and five who had a burden for those affected by human trafficking, particularly in South Asia. It was so undeniably evident that it could only be God at work to give us this unity spoken of in Philippians 2:1-4: “…being like-minded, having the same love, being one in spirit and purpose.” I couldn’t help but feel a bit like Mr. Beaver in The Chronicles of Narnia when he tells the children: “Aslan is on the move.” As God told the prophet Habakkuk: “Look at the nations and watch – and be utterly amazed. For I am going to do something in your days that you would not believe, even if you were told…For the revelation awaits an appointed time; it speaks of the end and will not prove false. Though it linger, wait for it; it will certainly come and will not delay” (Hab. 1:5, 2:3).